i hate my life.. i hate myself..

yesh.. i really hate my life this much.. i dun wanna make a decision.. but i had to..yesh.. i made a decision.. i lost a friend FOREVER... yesh. i lost him.. i really hope, i pray, i hope. i wont regret this decision.. Really.. i hope i dun regret this.. i felt so bad now.. nothing can describe how i feel actually.. absolutely.. its so bitter.. bitter bitter.. im so cruel.. im so bad.. i hate myself.. hope i can jus hide beneath the blanket forever.. hope i can wash my brain.. hope i can jus drown.. fallin apart now.. damn mi..