~LoSt~

a sheep wandering on the pastures of a green green hill.. lost.. with no other sheeps anywhere near it, no shepherd to guide its wae.. nothing.. jus it, all by itself..

tt's the picture tt im painting now.. and tt's helpless feelin tt im havin right now.. i felt like a lost sheep with no sense of directions.. specifically, tt's how i feel abt the whole fyp project.. i dun noe where im headin.. dunno wat im readin, dunno wat im supposed to do, dunno wat they are tokin..

i see problems in this group (tokin abt biz here), tried to rectify, but it appears to mi that wat i see as problem is not a problem to them, simply swept all tt i said aside, so wats the significance of mi in tt group since wat i sae, wat i contribute dun really play a part!! the objective of havin group work is to tap on each other strengths & contributions, and to build strong teamwork - and this is especially essential when you are tokin abt a project tt's of such a scale and tt's lastin for a year plus.. but wats there to tok abt teamwork when there's minimal communication?!?

yesh, cant possibly 3 persons meetin up together jus to do research, tt's practically a waste of time.. but there's sth tt needs the 3 of us to sit down, thrash it out and discuss.. wif no framework, u cant go anywhere far in a project! (direct quote from aahad.. ) it do make some sense of the importance of a project outline here.. i have yet seen any groups not meetin up b4 and after appointments wif the tutor.. and from wat i see, our mtgs wif tutor is the only time tt i noe wat the 2 guys are doin.. and got stunned by some of the suggestions they brought up sometimes.. and throughout most of the meetings, i will be sittin there LISTENING to them tok, and felt so damn lost.. cos i got practically zero idea of wat they are tokin, since there's zero knowledge sharin prior to mtgs and i got zero knowledge abt financial market.

i ask, nobody chup mi.. i sae, nobody really take my words into considerations.. yes, they are much clever than mi, much capable than mi, know much more than me.. can do all the work ALL BY THEMSELVES.. so wats the point of doin it in a team? i dun understand.. i really dun.. maybe the mindset of a HR person and accountants is very different, and maybe they are not involved in so damn much projects than us tt we already learned the art and importance of team dynamics while dey dun really fully grasp it.. i dun noe.. so wat the hell am i suppose to do?? i foresee myself wanderin into a forest.. where my view will be block by huge trees.. dark and scary.. leadin to no where..

move it move it~

typin this post while waitin for the shenzhen stock mkt webpage to load.. its takin so long jus load a page!! think there's really sth wif the network today.. was tryin to play a game of solitaire wif deb a moment ago.. but the game was unable to fully load.. haizz.

nwae, i pamper myself to some nice food, a haircut and some new clothes today.. (maybe its a signal tt im too damn stressed).. hahaa.. had my hair done wif wt at Chapter-2 @bugis.. i shall sae their service is not that bad.. friendly pple, good service, satisfactory results.. not a BIG change though, did some trimmings and a change in parting.. well, its good to start afresh wif sth new.. =)

think the daes of mi tryin to find an ans to my qn are gone.. looking back, realised tt the ans to the qn was pretty clear and obvious jus tt i was not able to bring myself to face it.. and now, the theory of tree and forest tt deb's tryin to drive across to mi a thousand times seem to make alot more sense.. haha..

alrighty, life goes on, so am i.. its time for mi to sae.. give up & move on!!! =P

num num num..

was reflectin much abt my life yesterdae.. no, i dint go down to zouk though i originally wanted to.. last minute change in decision.. so in the silence of the night, i looked back at how much i accomplished and wat r the things i have done tt i cld actually be happy and proud of.. and found tt there's so few of them.. in comparision, regrets and disappointments i have loads.. from the biggest regret i have when i was in sec sch - giving up on competitive swimmin training due to increased school load.. to the recent ( maybe not tt recent ) event tt made mi fell flat on my face on the cold hard floor of reality.. i really think tt life's a bitch..

woke up late for proj meetin today and feel my brain spinnin right now.. gtg get some rest soon..
posted some pics on the ktv sessions i have.. and yep.. happy mooncake festival pple~

wif 'qing long pang pang zu'.. LOL

wif elin~

Adl!fe @ktv suntec

ktv @marina sq

zh n mi @foodcourt, marina sq

wif wt @esplanade.. have not been there for quite a long time already..

the Merlion~

hmmm..

b4 i know it, its already fri.. meanin tt the 1 week break is comin to an end.. and i dint really accomplish much durin this one week, spendin most of the time workin on the projects.. but i think i did have a good rest, in a sense tt i sleep longer hours.. and for the past 2 daes, did enjoyed myself wif my frens..

think i dun wanna say much on my projects here.. so shall tok abt other things..

hahaa.. i got myself addicted to a new tv drama series recently.. its a jap show: Prideプライド ( pride, love & fight) starring Kimura Takuya and Takeuchi Yuko. its showin on channel U on every mon and tues 730pm.. i like the show cos 1) its abt ice hockey - another show abt sports and tt's specifically the reason y i like the show.. a show abt determination, aspiration, passion & drive, confidence and perseverence ( and i think these are wat makes a good sportsman.. though im not in a veri good position to comment.. but tt's my tots..) 2) i like most of kimura takuya's show.. not tt hes super cute or super handsome.. but i think its the same reason to y i like sammi cheng's movies.. though i dun noe wats THAT tt attracted mi.. 3) and i think the love chemistry in that show is veri sweet.. hahaha 4) the theme song is veri nice and that's 'i was born to love you' by Queen

other than gettin myself glued to the tv on mon and tues.. was out the past 2 daes.. doin the same activity.. ktv.. on 2 days.. yeshyesh.. not tt i have gone out of my mind.. got reasons one.. hahaha

first dae ktv session was wif Adlife.. k lunch @ k box suntec.. not veri nice food in there.. nevertheless, i did enjoy myself.. sini can really sing coco lee's songs.. deb's good at rappin.. gina a all ready music jukebox.. and elin cld sing duets well.. hahaa..
2nd dae ktv session wif wt and zh.. k student @ k box marina sq.. and you noe wat?? though theres onli 3 of us, they gave us such a big room tt we 3 cld conveniently SLEEP on the sofas as compared to the pathetic small room tt we 5 pple squeezed in at kbox suntec.. hahaa..

hmmm.. think i'll let pics do the rest of the tokin.. 313am now.. brain not functionin too properly..

Time, sometimes the time just slips away
And you're left with yesterday
Left with the memories
I, I'll always think of you and smile
And be happy for the time I had you with me
Though we go our separate ways
I won't forget so don't forget
The memories we made..

Haizz.. wat am i thinkin abt AGAIN?!? darn..

break~

finally.. the one week break is here! think i felt more relieved den excited over havin this break.. in a sense tt i can rest, catch up on my studies, do projects, and maybe spend some time wif my frens.. though not havin the privilage of gg overseas during this break, but im more than glad tt there's this break where i can really catch some rest...

this past week was really HELL week!!! tues presentation went on well and im happy tt it turned out okay considering we spent so damn much time on it.. thurs quiz was bad.. =( dint spent much time studyin for it cos most of the time were spent on the case and other project committments, and not to mention spent the day b4 the quiz layin on bed for the whole mornin and half of the afternoon - sick. wasted my day! of course, not forgetting to mention.. projects!!! though i have been complainin abt it, i STILL wanna complain!!! its really alot of work!!! REALLY!! tt Dr evil eel is really sick!!! he tot we got all the time in the world to do his project!! we got the scope of our projects wrong.. not once but twice.. y?? ALL COS' OF HIM!!!!! everytime we asked him abt our project, he will tell us different set of ans.. though our questions are usually on the same areas! maybe this evil eel is some alien from another planet.. i believed most of the students hate him to the core manz.. and i really think ntu is being invaded by aliens!! saw an alien in the 311 lec today loh.. SITTING there lecturing us.. i nv seen such an alien b4.. trust mi.. spoke in a strange accent (maybe french?) and practically readin the slides out to us.. *faint* these aliens ought to find their wae back to their spaceships some daes.. or maybe even their home planet dun even wan them there.. hence drop they in our planet earth.. haizz.. wad a sad situation..

oh well, shall not continue to ramble on abt my projects cos tml im meetin to do project!! proj on a sat!! *sobz sobz* sigh.. haha.. guessed i shall go do some serious swimmin in the break.. use it to relax and maybe get some tan!! hehee =P

oh yah.. i jus realised sth.. if u drive at a constant speed, say 80km/h, on the road.. 1/4 of the petrol tank will take u on 1 trip to-fro changi airport, 2 trips to-fro compass point AND 4 trips to-fro ntu!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hahaa.. tt's how much of petrol tt i spent this week!!

realised the reality..

sth jus knocked mi to my senses..
woke mi up from my dreams..
dreams will always be jus a dream..

Heaven bend to take my hand
And lead me through the fire
Be the long awaited answer
To a long and painful fight
Truth be told I've tried my best
But somewhere along the way
I got caught up in all there was to offer
And the cost was so much more than I could bear

Though I've tried, I've fallen
I have sunk so low
I have messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here
And tell me I told you so

We all begin with good intent
When love was raw and young
We believed that we could change ourselves
The past can be undone
But we carry on our back the burdens time always reveals
In the lonely light of morning
The wound that would not heal
It's the bitter taste of losing everything
I have held so dear

Though I've tried, I've fallen
I have sunk so low
I have messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here
And tell me I told you so

Heaven bend to take my hand
I've nowhere left to turn
I'm lost to those I thought were friends
To everyone I know
Oh they turned their heads embarassed
Pretend that they don't see
But it's one misstep one slip before you know it
And there doesn't seem a way to be redeemed

Though I've tried, I've fallen
I have sunk so low
I have messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here
And tell me I told you so
- Fallen... Sarah McLachlan

dum didi dum~

listening to... some music from 'radio blog' of someone's blog

jus finished printing notes for tml and fri's classes.. and oso finished preparing for tml's case mtg..so jus gg to hang ard to catch a breather..

hmmm.. life's like usual.. but think im really happy wif the proj groups tt im in for this sem.. really! though there's lots of projects to do.. and lookin at my schedule, end of sept and whole of oct is littered wif case and project presentations.. i think the process of doin projects and cases is a veri meaningful one.. of cos im not sayin abt the super high level of frustration and stress (nobody will like tt).. but the process of brainstormin ideas together, the teamwork, the bonding and the strengthenin of frenships is sth tt i will indeed treasure.. im not too sure how cum i suddenly have such strong feelings.. maybe cos its my final year studyin.. so it make mi treasure my time wif my frens in sch bah..

311 - workin wif angeline, nd and joruun (a swedish).. though disagreements may occur during our discussion as we pple tend to take on VERY different stand.. we always tries to find a way out.. and since all of us work on 1 same goal to finish the case and proj asap, so i guess no conflict of interest there.. hahaa

326 - 6 of us here.. and im really glad tt we are back together!! venus gers unite to form Adlife.. hahaa.. i really find tt we all have been together for so long, that the workin style of each of us is so clear tt our 'mo xi' is sth tt i cant possibly find when workin in other foreign groups.. maybe we shall go ktv after our whole project end.. and treat it as a 'qin gong yan'!! and of cos, not forgetin our dear steph.. muz ask her to come too.. though not in the same group this sem, but she's nv being forgotten! hahaa

325 - mi, sini, elin and chles.. though we have 1 new member here.. but think we all work together pretty well.. haha.. pretty amazed how she can juggle her academics,hall and sch activities.. really veri pei fu!!! nwae, think my first dae knowin chels start on quite a funny note..
remember tt first lesson.. in CR2.. time to form group..
yz walk to our group and ask:' so who's takin chelsea?'
i was thinkin:'how cum he's tokin abt soccer to us when we are formin groups?' cos tt time we were pretty frustrated in tryin to recruite a new member.. den think i wrote a super BIG HUH on my face when yz asked tt qn..
den yz pointed to chels and asked tt qn agn.. den i was like..' ORHHHHHhhhhh!!!' hahaa.. okies.. super blur lo..

322 - a last min added ge.. and found myself in a group of gers who have the same common goal again!!! we all takin it as ges!!! and lookin at the first mtg for our case.. all of us takes on a slack attitude.. no pressure, nothing.. jus tok, discuss, and crap.. but yet able to produce sth lah.. hahaa

fyp - the most dreaded project for this sem.. partly cos i have so many projects on hand, im spendin so liitle time on this.. and think its partly i got zero interest in the subject.. not my cup of tea manz.. i hate readin thrus the readings cos i dun understand a single thing.. got so frustrated wif myself in tryin to make myself understand wat all the terms abt.. last ting i wanna do is this..but too bad, gotta live wif it..

alritey.. enuff said.. time to cont wif readings.. life's like a routine.. nwae, wt n zh.. maybe lets go catch some movies during the weekends?? there's this march of the penguins.. haha.. penguins *wink wink*.. hahaha.. shall see as it goes.. =)

nwae, pple vote for kelly!!!!!